For the record, I hate you gais sometimes.

List seven habits/quirks/facts about yourself.
Tag seven people to do the same.
Do not tag the person who tagged you or say that you tag "whoever wants to do it".
-------------------------------

1. Your mommy doesn't love you. No, really, I am this snarky offline. I'm actually a bit worse, because it comes with spastic wtfery. But no, I have never toned my shit down to function on the internet.

2. My dad still thinks I'm a boy. This might be the only way he's able to rationalize that his second child is fuchsia on the rainbow scale of life, but he basically treats me like a son. Granted, a son he can have logical conversations over impracticality in female clothing, but a son nonetheless.

3. I am about as normal as a lemur on crack, tap dancing on American Idol to win the World Cup.

4. Next person who says I'm Spanish gets an eyeful of barbecue sauce. I'm half German half African American. I AM NOT HISPANIC OR ANY DERIVATIVE THEREOF. Stop calling me at three in the afternoon and thinking that I speak Spanish. ICH WEISS ES NICHT WAS SIE SAGEN.

5. My only talents in life are finding other people's money, spending said money, and writing really pretty shit that means I'm going to jail before I'm thirty. It'll be awesome. I'll have all sorts of new friends and bitches at the saaaaame time.

6. My phone number is NOT the Korean or Chinese takeaway. Just because you can switch the last four numbers around does NOT mean I am driving to your house and delivering bimbap or sweet and sour chicken. I am also NOT the taxi service. If I answer the phone and you get the Federal Bureau of Investigation, Homeland Security Division, you might want to RECONSIDER TRYING TO SELL ME POT. Kthnx.

7. The boobs, they are real. The voice, it is real. I am THIS FUCKING HYPER ALL THE FUCKING TIME. If you have any questions, please direct them to the face in my hand. Oh wait, I'm not D. Shit, mah bad.


I taaaaaag....
, the budgie in your brain, the lemur in your pants, the cat on your roof, the dog next door, and YOUR MOM.